Monday, November 3, 2008

Expecting/Wanting/Making a Man Commit

I have written about this many times and I have concluded several things: When a man won't "commit" or share his innermost thoughts, it is usually because he doesn't trust you with them.

I've seen it a million times when people will take an intimate point that was shared in the past and bring it up during an argument or something like that to prove to them that this is why you are the way you are. I actually heard one woman say to a guy, "...and you wonder why your first wife left you."

Excuse me?!

Enough instances like that and brother-man won't share a headache with you.

So, when he won't commit, he hasn't learned to trust you with his vulnerabilities and one of the last things a man will ever want is to appear weak or vulnerable to anyone.

Men also do not like to dwell in their past, particularly their dark past, and prefer the clean break of moving forward. This means, we do NOT want to discuss how we feel or felt about something negative in our past. We know its there but we prefer it remain there.

Second, a man desires appreciation above nearly everything when it comes to relationships. If you don't show him that he is important TO YOU and that he matters TO YOU, then you will not be shown any consideration in return.
Since it is so often expected that the man is to provide and protect, when these are not shown their due consideration then there is no passion or meaning in doing them for you.

Last, when a man won't commit, it simply means he won't commit to you! Oh, when he finds the woman who will exhibit trust, appreciation, and passion for him, there is NOTHING he won't do for them. Often, a man has to find his own way to an ending and when it comes to love, he acts more on his reasoning and reptilian instincts rather than the way a woman acts. These differences are what makes us unique and valuable in our own genders.

All of the things that are listed are what women desire and mistakenly expect men to feel the same way. We won't...not without a reason.
It is what it is...and it needs to be understood for exactly what it means.